thee-ol-a-jee

I ran into an old friend today. A friend I haven't seen in over a year. I've known her and her husband since we were at least 15. We went to high school together, partied together, had dinner together, got in trouble together, vacationed together... You get the idea. I am now 34. We have known each other for more than half of our lives. We've known each other LONGER than we haven't known each other. 

My wife and I used to attend a "Supper Club" every month that involved this couple and two other couples. We were the best of friends. We shared laughs, we shared tears, we shared fellowship and many other meaningful things.

ALL of those things ended exactly 364 days ago today.

I started writing this blog.

After that...everything changed.

A difference of "Theology" shattered several friendships. This one was the one that hurt the most. 

After this couple read my thoughts/beliefs on this blog they decided that they could no longer be friends with me because of a difference of THEOLOGY.

The exact words were that "the Lord instructed them to have no parts with this". 

The simple fact that they now knew that our theology didn't align was enough to evoke "the Lord" to cut off a lifelong friendship. 

I would like to take this time to point out the definition of Theology.

Theology: 1.The study of the nature of God and religious truth; rational inquiry into religious questions, esp. those truths posed by an organized religious community. 2. An organized, often formalized body of opinions concerning God and mens relationship with God. 3. A course of specialized religious study.

Why is it that when we can't agree we must divide? the definition itself points to questioning what you know.

Men have been arguing over this for THOUSAND"S of years! How dare any one of us declare that we have it figured out. How dare anyone of us declare that we know right from wrong. How dare anyone of us declare that we know how to translate exactly what was written and rewritten thousands of times. (sorry for the rant) That was the frustration and hurt of losing good friends over such silly matters.

I'm ending this with a plea, no, not a plea. I'm begging all of you who think you have it figured out...I'm begging all of you who think you are right...I'm begging all of you who use the Bible to correct/chastise/divide the one's you know and don't know to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop, and think before you speak.

I believe that conversation and questions will yield knowledge and wisdom. No one ever chose to switch sides because they lost the argument.

Part of the Rebel Alliance and a Traitor

I find myself in a weird place. A place that can best be described in the text of my favorite movie. I will explain a little more before I clue you in on exactly what I mean.

On March 24th of this year (2011) I started putting the thoughts and beliefs of my mind & soul into text via this blog. I was scared, I was nervous, I was unsure of how I would be received...especially by my "closest" friends. I, like any human have a primal desire to be liked and accepted. I knew that my beliefs would not be received with an open mind...especially by the group that held me so tightly. It was not easy to open up, knowing that the people that accepted me would possibly reject me for my beliefs.

I opened up my deepest darkest thoughts. The REAL me... I put myself in a place to be heard. a place to be critiqued, weighed and measured. Not because of a rebellious spirit, not to be edgy or dangerous but because I had a new calling. There was new meaning and direction for my life. A purpose for the Kingdom that I had not yet broached.  Redefining.

I did a lot of praying and soul searching. I really had a hard time coming to terms with what I knew I was called to do. Giving new definition to old traditions/thoughts/teachings isn't a very pleasant place to be...just ask Jeremiah or Ezekiel.
 The more I thought about it the more I felt myself distanced from what I was involved in.
This is where my favorite movie comes into play.

There is a scene in Star Wars where Anakin (the "chosen one" of the Jedi's) is talking to his forbidden lover, Padme (the queen of a planet and leader in the democratic senate). The dialogue is below:

Anakin: "I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic." 
Padmé: "Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?" 
Anakin: "What do you mean?" 
Padmé: "What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy?"

This is the "weird" place I spoke of in my opening sentence. I, like Padme realized that I had been fighting for the wrong side. 

Don't nail me to the cross yet...

I'm not special. I don't have it all figured out. I didn't receive some fantastic revelation from God that no one else had heard. I simply was shown a new way. And the more I looked at things from the other angle the more I realized that I didn't like what I was a part of...

Much like Padme I felt as if I was currently fighting on the wrong side (spiritually speaking).

I'm not calling Christian America wrong. I'm saying that it was wrong for me. I didn't and Do Not agree with the majority of what is accepted and promoted as "Christian" today.

Christian America prolly started out on the right foot. But somewhere somehow things got off track. Man usually/historically gets off track. Just read the Bible. Every man of God and every leader has taken a movement and completely messed it up. Ultimately, God steps in and things change in a BIG way.

I'm sure that the 700 club started out with the right intention. I'm sure that Benny Hinn started out with the right intentions. I'm sure that every Tel e-evangelist started out right. But somewhere in time things went awry. Whenever man gets involved in Gods plan it always gets distorted.

Let's do a quick screen shot 20 years forward on what Padme and Anakin were talking about. I'll set it up for you. A ship on a diplomatic mission is captured by the (evil) empire and Vader (Anakin) accuses Leia (his own daughter) of being a traitor of the empire.

Leia: "I'm a member of the imperial senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan." 

Darth Vader: "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!"

Now, I know that seems a bit out of left field compared to Christianity but this is exactly how I have felt lately. Christian America being the empire and me being the Rebel Alliance.

I guess it's time to make a REALLY long story short...or shorter :)

I have applied new definition to old thoughts and by doing so, I have a super hard time being considered a "christian". I want the church to start acting and looking like Christ and the ways that He taught. So I'm not proposing that we teach something new. I simply want the definitions that Jesus placed on the religious to apply to today's modern church.

I consider Jesus the leader of the Rebel Alliance and therefore I am a traitor to today's empire called Christianity. May His force be with you.

HEE HAW!

I'm such a Jackass...biblicaly speaking.

Let me explain.

I am a pastor/preacher/teacher (whatever you want to call it). Not because I hold a position at a church and not because I have been given a title but because that's what I am. It is the gift that God gave me. I say God gave it to me because I hate public speaking with a passion. If I have to stand up and speak in front of any amount of people I lock up (deer in the headlights). I have panic attacks, I get the sweats, I can't think...you get the idea.

So when I felt the calling to become a pastor I knew it had to be God because NOTHING in me ever wants to do any of what a pastor has to do.

I preached my first sermon a few years back. I was a nervous Nelly. I practiced and practiced and practiced so that my fear of forgetting everything wouldn't come to pass.  I almost didn't do it. But on that day I got behind the pulpit and prayed, not for the sermon and not for God to speak through me or any of that kinda thing. I prayed for ME. And I have to say that things went better than great. I was absolutely flabbergasted. There was a peace on me during the sermon that was supernatural.

When it was all over I stepped down from behind the pulpit and talked to everyone there and over and over again everyone told me how good I did.

Modestly I thanked them and gave all the glory to God but deep inside I really enjoyed all of that praise. Which leads us to where I'm going with this ramble.

I read the 21st chapter of Matthews gospel last night. I want to share the section that made me remember this event.

"And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples, Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them, And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon. And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way. And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest."

 This is where Palm Sunday comes from. Everyone laid their clothing and palm fronds on the ground and praised the Savior on His triumphant entry to bring peace.

My original statement was derived from this moment in the scriptures.

On the occasion that I deliver a sermon I will always receive praise. And deep within I accept it as if I had done something wonderful, when really I am just an ASS bringing Jesus to the place He needs to go.

Imagine that day if the Donkey had thought all that praise was for him instead of for Jesus.

So I guess I can say that I am proud to be such a Jackass...biblicaly speaking

HEE HAW!

WWF style

I read an article a few weeks ago that had a quote from the Genesis story about Jacob. It had been a while since I had read that story so I flipped over to Gen. 32 and read thru the chapter. Something stuck out to me that I had never seen before, possibly because I was reading it in a translation I hadn't read it in before. The verses that drop kicked me are below:

^24-25 But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he couldn't get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob's hip out of joint.
²⁸ The man said, "But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it's Israel (God-Wrestler); you've wrestled with God and you've come through."

Depending on the translation you are reading, there can be a variance of who exactly Jacob was wrestling. Some say he wrestled a man, some say he wrestled an angel and some say he wrestled God Himself.

regardless of the translation you read/prefer, the issue that body slammed me was in the definition of Jacob's new name, Israel.
Israel literally means "God-Wrestler".
I was locked on this thought much the same way a wrestler can lock you in a hold and you just can't escape it.

Here's my thought: God named His chosen people "God-Wrestler"
He didn't name them "loved ones" or "the best of the best" He gave them a name that best describes  what it is that He wants from us:
To wrestle with Him.

Mentally, Spiritually or physically, His desire is for us to grab onto Him and work out our issues with Him. It's how you build a relationship!
Much the same way you form relationships with people/friends/loved ones. Sometimes you just have to get work it out (Phil. 2:12)  to understand each other.

My advice to you...
Jump off the top ropes and get into it with God.

A Parable

On that day, everyone from every nation was raised from the dead, As all of creation gathered around the glory of his burning thrown, as the brilliance of the seraphim's and cherubim circled above, humanity was separated into two groups. 

Some started asking each other “did you accept Jesus?”

In both groups you could hear people saying:

I went forward at that rally!

I’ve never heard of Jesus!

I went to church and played bass in the band!

I was born centuries before him!

I drove out demons and did deeds of power in his name!

I was a good person, I’ll be going to heaven! 

The Son of Man, frustrated with the talk of "going to heaven," interrupted the babel and confusion with a clarifying question that silenced all of creation:

“You thought this was about "going" somewhere else? Did I teach you to pray "Your kingdom we’ll go" or "Your Kingdom come?’"I have come to bring heaven here, not to take you elsewhere. Heaven isn’t a ‘place’ that you go, it’s the very Presence of God that I bring. And now, those who have responded to God’s grace and have not dammed Heaven from flooding the earth by accepting me will inherit this kingdom of a transfigured creation.”

The seas roared with the outcry and joy from within both groups as some lamented they have never heard of Jesus let alone accepted him, while others ecstatic that they prophesied and saved souls in his name. 

Then the King with a voice like lightening silenced the nations with this stunning declaration:

“You accepted me, as a child solider in Darfur, as a Thai child enslaved in sex trafficking, as a refugee seeking to enter your country, as a disabled black youth on death row, as a homeless vet on the streets, as a gay youth victimized in High School, as a drug addicted prostitute needing a meal, as an inmate needing a visit …”

As the list of where Christ had been camouflaged throughout creation went on, a shock wave rippled throughout all of reality at the realization that the two groups were not separated by their doctrines or ideas about Christ, or grace, or Heaven, or hell. They were separated by their response to the saving grace of Jesus in the most vulnerable and oppressed. The reality of this revelation for one group felt like eternal punishment. And for the other, eternal life. Eternal Life of the New Heavens and the New Earth liberated from all that does not look like Jesus’ Calvary-shaped love.

Your Thoughts? I'm interested to hear what YOU have to say.

Shaken, Not Stirred.

We finished our summer on a bang! Or maybe I should say a shake.  Tuesday was the last day of summer for my kids. They came to work with me and were playing in my warehouse when the 5.8 earthquake shook our town. If you're from CA that may not seem that big but we Virginians aint used to that sorda shakin :)

Here's the USGS link for all the specific facts: QUAKE FACTOIDS!

Since that CRAZY event we have had several aftershocks/earthquakes. 6 after shocks and another quake last night to be exact. If you like lists, here's another link: list O Facts :)

I can honestly say that the initial quake was kinda fun...until I realized my children were with me. I must have some sorta "mama bear" 6th sense because I became a different person when the thought of my children entered my mind. My baby girl (10 yrs. old) was really shaken by the event. My son (12 yrs. too cool) was clearly freaked but played it off well.

The Omori's Law of earthquake aftershocks basically states that: After the earthquake, the aftershocks will get less and less in frequency and magnitude for every day that passes thereafter.

I have used this knowledge again and again to ensure my little girl that everything is cool and that the worst has passed. With every aftershock I was able to comfort her with the fact that they were decreasing in frequency and magnitude.

Until last night.

We were woken from a dead sleep by a 4.5 earthquake, not an aftershock. Which really shook her, literally and physically. We all got out of bed and high tailed it outside. Side note: We live in a log home. Because of the way our home is constructed, everything is tied together. SO, If any part of the house moves...the WHOLE house moves. This tends to over state the magnitude of things sometimes.

Once she was awake she could not be consoled. She was shaking, her heart was pounding and did not want to go back inside. Did I mention we were all outside at 1am, half asleep and in our PJ's/skivvies.


I love painting mental pictures :)

Long story short: Omori's Law wasn't cutting it this time.

But there was a law that did work. God's.

God's Law? Yup. God's law.

"The Message" translates vs. 6 & 7 of the ancient letter to the Philippians as follows:
^6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

That part of that scripture came to my mind while sitting on my front porch (almost naked) trying to console my sweet little girl. While daddy's arms may be big and strong, they just weren't strong enough to make all the fear disappear by wrapping her in them. So I prayed for that peace. That peace that can only come from our creator.

eventually she came back inside and she fell back asleep.

Not only did she sleep, but so did I ;) "stirred" by the Prince of Peace.

Road to Recovery =

 
A little over a year ago I felt the Lord urging me to slow down. I had too many irons in the fire. I was wearing too many hats. And yes, I was also burning the candle at both ends. I needed to specifically "focus on my family". That's the answer I heard when praying about my situation.

I found myself involved in so many other things that I didn't have any time for my family. I was working two jobs (with a 40 minute commute between them), Involved at church (elder and pastor) from 3-5 days a week (plus study time), I had a fellowship at my home one night a week AND was processing somewhere between 20-40 lbs of beef jerky every week to sell at the farmers market (which took up my Saturdays). Every minute of every day was filled to the rim with brim.

Not to mention that I slowly found myself in disagreement with most of the teaching/beliefs/points of view in the church. If I don't agree with what my life is devoted to then there is a real riff in the fabric of why I am doing what I'm doing.

So I took a good hard look at everything I was "doing" and started asking God what He wanted me to be doing. I slowly backed out of most of my commitments, knocked down my hours at work, quit making all my delicious jerky and stepped down from my positions at church. And every time I would ask what I should be doing...the response was always that, I was doing it.

Once I started focusing on my family I realized just how neglected it was. Much like an old house that people live in but don't take care of, my life resembled just that. Had I not listened...well, I hate to think of what could of happened. We were dilapidated and had no idea of the impending eviction. All I can say is that I am thankful for that simple word from the Lord.

So now I'm a year out and I finally feel like I'm recovering from the BURNOUT

No, not that kind of burn out, but I thought it appropriate to add a little humor to my whining.

I finally feel as if I can breath. The answer for me was R&R.

The best part about this whole series of events is that now I can actually "do" what I feel called to do. Without "doing" what everyone else wants me to do.

I want to end this by extending some advice that I should have heeded a long time ago.

Put your family 1st.