Part of the Rebel Alliance and a Traitor

I find myself in a weird place. A place that can best be described in the text of my favorite movie. I will explain a little more before I clue you in on exactly what I mean.

On March 24th of this year (2011) I started putting the thoughts and beliefs of my mind & soul into text via this blog. I was scared, I was nervous, I was unsure of how I would be received...especially by my "closest" friends. I, like any human have a primal desire to be liked and accepted. I knew that my beliefs would not be received with an open mind...especially by the group that held me so tightly. It was not easy to open up, knowing that the people that accepted me would possibly reject me for my beliefs.

I opened up my deepest darkest thoughts. The REAL me... I put myself in a place to be heard. a place to be critiqued, weighed and measured. Not because of a rebellious spirit, not to be edgy or dangerous but because I had a new calling. There was new meaning and direction for my life. A purpose for the Kingdom that I had not yet broached.  Redefining.

I did a lot of praying and soul searching. I really had a hard time coming to terms with what I knew I was called to do. Giving new definition to old traditions/thoughts/teachings isn't a very pleasant place to be...just ask Jeremiah or Ezekiel.
 The more I thought about it the more I felt myself distanced from what I was involved in.
This is where my favorite movie comes into play.

There is a scene in Star Wars where Anakin (the "chosen one" of the Jedi's) is talking to his forbidden lover, Padme (the queen of a planet and leader in the democratic senate). The dialogue is below:

Anakin: "I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic." 
Padmé: "Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?" 
Anakin: "What do you mean?" 
Padmé: "What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy?"

This is the "weird" place I spoke of in my opening sentence. I, like Padme realized that I had been fighting for the wrong side. 

Don't nail me to the cross yet...

I'm not special. I don't have it all figured out. I didn't receive some fantastic revelation from God that no one else had heard. I simply was shown a new way. And the more I looked at things from the other angle the more I realized that I didn't like what I was a part of...

Much like Padme I felt as if I was currently fighting on the wrong side (spiritually speaking).

I'm not calling Christian America wrong. I'm saying that it was wrong for me. I didn't and Do Not agree with the majority of what is accepted and promoted as "Christian" today.

Christian America prolly started out on the right foot. But somewhere somehow things got off track. Man usually/historically gets off track. Just read the Bible. Every man of God and every leader has taken a movement and completely messed it up. Ultimately, God steps in and things change in a BIG way.

I'm sure that the 700 club started out with the right intention. I'm sure that Benny Hinn started out with the right intentions. I'm sure that every Tel e-evangelist started out right. But somewhere in time things went awry. Whenever man gets involved in Gods plan it always gets distorted.

Let's do a quick screen shot 20 years forward on what Padme and Anakin were talking about. I'll set it up for you. A ship on a diplomatic mission is captured by the (evil) empire and Vader (Anakin) accuses Leia (his own daughter) of being a traitor of the empire.

Leia: "I'm a member of the imperial senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan." 

Darth Vader: "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!"

Now, I know that seems a bit out of left field compared to Christianity but this is exactly how I have felt lately. Christian America being the empire and me being the Rebel Alliance.

I guess it's time to make a REALLY long story short...or shorter :)

I have applied new definition to old thoughts and by doing so, I have a super hard time being considered a "christian". I want the church to start acting and looking like Christ and the ways that He taught. So I'm not proposing that we teach something new. I simply want the definitions that Jesus placed on the religious to apply to today's modern church.

I consider Jesus the leader of the Rebel Alliance and therefore I am a traitor to today's empire called Christianity. May His force be with you.

HEE HAW!

I'm such a Jackass...biblicaly speaking.

Let me explain.

I am a pastor/preacher/teacher (whatever you want to call it). Not because I hold a position at a church and not because I have been given a title but because that's what I am. It is the gift that God gave me. I say God gave it to me because I hate public speaking with a passion. If I have to stand up and speak in front of any amount of people I lock up (deer in the headlights). I have panic attacks, I get the sweats, I can't think...you get the idea.

So when I felt the calling to become a pastor I knew it had to be God because NOTHING in me ever wants to do any of what a pastor has to do.

I preached my first sermon a few years back. I was a nervous Nelly. I practiced and practiced and practiced so that my fear of forgetting everything wouldn't come to pass.  I almost didn't do it. But on that day I got behind the pulpit and prayed, not for the sermon and not for God to speak through me or any of that kinda thing. I prayed for ME. And I have to say that things went better than great. I was absolutely flabbergasted. There was a peace on me during the sermon that was supernatural.

When it was all over I stepped down from behind the pulpit and talked to everyone there and over and over again everyone told me how good I did.

Modestly I thanked them and gave all the glory to God but deep inside I really enjoyed all of that praise. Which leads us to where I'm going with this ramble.

I read the 21st chapter of Matthews gospel last night. I want to share the section that made me remember this event.

"And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples, Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them, And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon. And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way. And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest."

 This is where Palm Sunday comes from. Everyone laid their clothing and palm fronds on the ground and praised the Savior on His triumphant entry to bring peace.

My original statement was derived from this moment in the scriptures.

On the occasion that I deliver a sermon I will always receive praise. And deep within I accept it as if I had done something wonderful, when really I am just an ASS bringing Jesus to the place He needs to go.

Imagine that day if the Donkey had thought all that praise was for him instead of for Jesus.

So I guess I can say that I am proud to be such a Jackass...biblicaly speaking

HEE HAW!

Today

Nope...this isn't photo shopped.

My stomach hurts. I feel sick. I feel convicted. HOW DARE I...

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.

That's Jesus speaking, recorded by Matthew.

I have been confronted in many different ways by several people since my blog started. Most are encouraging, but the "few" that have spoken/written of their rejection or separation have used the words of the bible to try to convict me of my wrong doing. My thoughts have been consumed with theological debate, translation issues, context, Greek/Aramaic and Hebrew language studies, modern teaching, dividing lines, lifestyles, interpretation, doctrine, definition, so on and so forth. These thoughts have dominated me. Why I am more right than someone else. I've searched my soul for any wrong doing. I pray every day for revelation. Search me Father for an inch of my heart that isn't focused on Yours.

Today I got my answer. LOVE

How dare I.

In my quest to redefine, in my quest to change the filter through which we see things, in my quest to help others understand...my eyes were opened. I have missed the big picture. I have been distracted by the argument. I need to find my "blinders". I need to set aside my offense. Who cares if "a few" ignorant people don't understand? There will always be "a few".

What about LOVE?

All of the B.S. we argue over, all of the denominational splits, all of the theological debates, they miss it all. We are just clanging symbols, making noise with no purpose other than to say we are right.

It's time to lay down our swords, it's time to beat them into shovels and our spears into hoes. Our weapons need to profit the needy. Our arguments need to benefit the helpless.

WOW Chris...You're JUST getting this revelation?

Sorry, I'm a little slow on the draw. This is where I am right now and I said that this blog would be for such a revelation. I hope we can all benefit from this, not because Ive got it figured out but because I think it lines up with what Jesus came to do.

Question Authority

 This rides on the coat tales of a blog posted by my brother in law: Questions are powerful

I personally learn by asking questions. I have always been a question asker (this is another one of my made up words). More importantly...I am a listener. I have a great ability to hear and learn. When I was young, I would stand close to groups of grown ups at family gatherings or parties and listen with great interest to ALL the differing points of view. I continued this practice through my teenage years and found myself welcome in conversations that other people my age weren't accepted in. I "usually" kept my mouth shut and heard each point of view before expressing my opinion and when I did open my mouth...my thoughts echoed years of listening to many opinions (If any of you know my family, you know that we are all very opinionated).

The result of this practice was again and again told to me. "You are very wise for a person your age"

In my first blog  Took The Leap I laid a foundation for my coming blogs. I said "I want to use this blog in a way to create and shape a better me and a better world through deep, meaningful conversations with questions or concerns and not with definitive stances or harsh judgement." And that sums up my learning experiences through life. All that to say, I ask questions without agenda. Well, maybe I have an agenda...but that is to better myself.

So there is my "motive/agenda" behind these last few controversial blogs.

Why am I bothering to tell you this? Because I feel a certain disdain in the answers to the questions I am asking. I'm not bashing anybody for giving me their opinion. That's what I asked for, but why am I getting answers to a different question than I asked?

The questions I am asking are not easy, hence the fact of me asking them. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.I have been told that these questions aren't bringing fruit, That they aren't helping build up anyone, That they are causing or can lead to spiritual doubt. That's simply not true. I have had countless conversations stating otherwise. It may not be on the blog for the world to see but it's happening AND I can see fruit from it. In me and others :)

I do believe that certain questions can be destructive. But there is a significant difference between questions that bring wisdom and fuller understanding than the kind of questions that simply seek to validate the world and its ways.

What are we Christians so afraid of? If you truly believe that the bible is God's word and that it's infallible and without error and it's perfect and so on and so forth. Then there is nothing to be worried about. If I can be stumped or proven wrong about the bibles perfectness then I'm believing a lie. Do I want my faith founded on lies? No.I say ask away!


I think the real fear is: if you start to doubt one tiny part of scripture, then where do you stop?