Part of the Rebel Alliance and a Traitor

I find myself in a weird place. A place that can best be described in the text of my favorite movie. I will explain a little more before I clue you in on exactly what I mean.

On March 24th of this year (2011) I started putting the thoughts and beliefs of my mind & soul into text via this blog. I was scared, I was nervous, I was unsure of how I would be received...especially by my "closest" friends. I, like any human have a primal desire to be liked and accepted. I knew that my beliefs would not be received with an open mind...especially by the group that held me so tightly. It was not easy to open up, knowing that the people that accepted me would possibly reject me for my beliefs.

I opened up my deepest darkest thoughts. The REAL me... I put myself in a place to be heard. a place to be critiqued, weighed and measured. Not because of a rebellious spirit, not to be edgy or dangerous but because I had a new calling. There was new meaning and direction for my life. A purpose for the Kingdom that I had not yet broached.  Redefining.

I did a lot of praying and soul searching. I really had a hard time coming to terms with what I knew I was called to do. Giving new definition to old traditions/thoughts/teachings isn't a very pleasant place to be...just ask Jeremiah or Ezekiel.
 The more I thought about it the more I felt myself distanced from what I was involved in.
This is where my favorite movie comes into play.

There is a scene in Star Wars where Anakin (the "chosen one" of the Jedi's) is talking to his forbidden lover, Padme (the queen of a planet and leader in the democratic senate). The dialogue is below:

Anakin: "I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic." 
Padmé: "Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?" 
Anakin: "What do you mean?" 
Padmé: "What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy?"

This is the "weird" place I spoke of in my opening sentence. I, like Padme realized that I had been fighting for the wrong side. 

Don't nail me to the cross yet...

I'm not special. I don't have it all figured out. I didn't receive some fantastic revelation from God that no one else had heard. I simply was shown a new way. And the more I looked at things from the other angle the more I realized that I didn't like what I was a part of...

Much like Padme I felt as if I was currently fighting on the wrong side (spiritually speaking).

I'm not calling Christian America wrong. I'm saying that it was wrong for me. I didn't and Do Not agree with the majority of what is accepted and promoted as "Christian" today.

Christian America prolly started out on the right foot. But somewhere somehow things got off track. Man usually/historically gets off track. Just read the Bible. Every man of God and every leader has taken a movement and completely messed it up. Ultimately, God steps in and things change in a BIG way.

I'm sure that the 700 club started out with the right intention. I'm sure that Benny Hinn started out with the right intentions. I'm sure that every Tel e-evangelist started out right. But somewhere in time things went awry. Whenever man gets involved in Gods plan it always gets distorted.

Let's do a quick screen shot 20 years forward on what Padme and Anakin were talking about. I'll set it up for you. A ship on a diplomatic mission is captured by the (evil) empire and Vader (Anakin) accuses Leia (his own daughter) of being a traitor of the empire.

Leia: "I'm a member of the imperial senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan." 

Darth Vader: "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!"

Now, I know that seems a bit out of left field compared to Christianity but this is exactly how I have felt lately. Christian America being the empire and me being the Rebel Alliance.

I guess it's time to make a REALLY long story short...or shorter :)

I have applied new definition to old thoughts and by doing so, I have a super hard time being considered a "christian". I want the church to start acting and looking like Christ and the ways that He taught. So I'm not proposing that we teach something new. I simply want the definitions that Jesus placed on the religious to apply to today's modern church.

I consider Jesus the leader of the Rebel Alliance and therefore I am a traitor to today's empire called Christianity. May His force be with you.

HEE HAW!

I'm such a Jackass...biblicaly speaking.

Let me explain.

I am a pastor/preacher/teacher (whatever you want to call it). Not because I hold a position at a church and not because I have been given a title but because that's what I am. It is the gift that God gave me. I say God gave it to me because I hate public speaking with a passion. If I have to stand up and speak in front of any amount of people I lock up (deer in the headlights). I have panic attacks, I get the sweats, I can't think...you get the idea.

So when I felt the calling to become a pastor I knew it had to be God because NOTHING in me ever wants to do any of what a pastor has to do.

I preached my first sermon a few years back. I was a nervous Nelly. I practiced and practiced and practiced so that my fear of forgetting everything wouldn't come to pass.  I almost didn't do it. But on that day I got behind the pulpit and prayed, not for the sermon and not for God to speak through me or any of that kinda thing. I prayed for ME. And I have to say that things went better than great. I was absolutely flabbergasted. There was a peace on me during the sermon that was supernatural.

When it was all over I stepped down from behind the pulpit and talked to everyone there and over and over again everyone told me how good I did.

Modestly I thanked them and gave all the glory to God but deep inside I really enjoyed all of that praise. Which leads us to where I'm going with this ramble.

I read the 21st chapter of Matthews gospel last night. I want to share the section that made me remember this event.

"And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples, Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them, And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon. And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way. And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest."

 This is where Palm Sunday comes from. Everyone laid their clothing and palm fronds on the ground and praised the Savior on His triumphant entry to bring peace.

My original statement was derived from this moment in the scriptures.

On the occasion that I deliver a sermon I will always receive praise. And deep within I accept it as if I had done something wonderful, when really I am just an ASS bringing Jesus to the place He needs to go.

Imagine that day if the Donkey had thought all that praise was for him instead of for Jesus.

So I guess I can say that I am proud to be such a Jackass...biblicaly speaking

HEE HAW!

WWF style

I read an article a few weeks ago that had a quote from the Genesis story about Jacob. It had been a while since I had read that story so I flipped over to Gen. 32 and read thru the chapter. Something stuck out to me that I had never seen before, possibly because I was reading it in a translation I hadn't read it in before. The verses that drop kicked me are below:

^24-25 But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he couldn't get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob's hip out of joint.
²⁸ The man said, "But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it's Israel (God-Wrestler); you've wrestled with God and you've come through."

Depending on the translation you are reading, there can be a variance of who exactly Jacob was wrestling. Some say he wrestled a man, some say he wrestled an angel and some say he wrestled God Himself.

regardless of the translation you read/prefer, the issue that body slammed me was in the definition of Jacob's new name, Israel.
Israel literally means "God-Wrestler".
I was locked on this thought much the same way a wrestler can lock you in a hold and you just can't escape it.

Here's my thought: God named His chosen people "God-Wrestler"
He didn't name them "loved ones" or "the best of the best" He gave them a name that best describes  what it is that He wants from us:
To wrestle with Him.

Mentally, Spiritually or physically, His desire is for us to grab onto Him and work out our issues with Him. It's how you build a relationship!
Much the same way you form relationships with people/friends/loved ones. Sometimes you just have to get work it out (Phil. 2:12)  to understand each other.

My advice to you...
Jump off the top ropes and get into it with God.

A Parable

On that day, everyone from every nation was raised from the dead, As all of creation gathered around the glory of his burning thrown, as the brilliance of the seraphim's and cherubim circled above, humanity was separated into two groups. 

Some started asking each other “did you accept Jesus?”

In both groups you could hear people saying:

I went forward at that rally!

I’ve never heard of Jesus!

I went to church and played bass in the band!

I was born centuries before him!

I drove out demons and did deeds of power in his name!

I was a good person, I’ll be going to heaven! 

The Son of Man, frustrated with the talk of "going to heaven," interrupted the babel and confusion with a clarifying question that silenced all of creation:

“You thought this was about "going" somewhere else? Did I teach you to pray "Your kingdom we’ll go" or "Your Kingdom come?’"I have come to bring heaven here, not to take you elsewhere. Heaven isn’t a ‘place’ that you go, it’s the very Presence of God that I bring. And now, those who have responded to God’s grace and have not dammed Heaven from flooding the earth by accepting me will inherit this kingdom of a transfigured creation.”

The seas roared with the outcry and joy from within both groups as some lamented they have never heard of Jesus let alone accepted him, while others ecstatic that they prophesied and saved souls in his name. 

Then the King with a voice like lightening silenced the nations with this stunning declaration:

“You accepted me, as a child solider in Darfur, as a Thai child enslaved in sex trafficking, as a refugee seeking to enter your country, as a disabled black youth on death row, as a homeless vet on the streets, as a gay youth victimized in High School, as a drug addicted prostitute needing a meal, as an inmate needing a visit …”

As the list of where Christ had been camouflaged throughout creation went on, a shock wave rippled throughout all of reality at the realization that the two groups were not separated by their doctrines or ideas about Christ, or grace, or Heaven, or hell. They were separated by their response to the saving grace of Jesus in the most vulnerable and oppressed. The reality of this revelation for one group felt like eternal punishment. And for the other, eternal life. Eternal Life of the New Heavens and the New Earth liberated from all that does not look like Jesus’ Calvary-shaped love.

Your Thoughts? I'm interested to hear what YOU have to say.

Shaken, Not Stirred.

We finished our summer on a bang! Or maybe I should say a shake.  Tuesday was the last day of summer for my kids. They came to work with me and were playing in my warehouse when the 5.8 earthquake shook our town. If you're from CA that may not seem that big but we Virginians aint used to that sorda shakin :)

Here's the USGS link for all the specific facts: QUAKE FACTOIDS!

Since that CRAZY event we have had several aftershocks/earthquakes. 6 after shocks and another quake last night to be exact. If you like lists, here's another link: list O Facts :)

I can honestly say that the initial quake was kinda fun...until I realized my children were with me. I must have some sorta "mama bear" 6th sense because I became a different person when the thought of my children entered my mind. My baby girl (10 yrs. old) was really shaken by the event. My son (12 yrs. too cool) was clearly freaked but played it off well.

The Omori's Law of earthquake aftershocks basically states that: After the earthquake, the aftershocks will get less and less in frequency and magnitude for every day that passes thereafter.

I have used this knowledge again and again to ensure my little girl that everything is cool and that the worst has passed. With every aftershock I was able to comfort her with the fact that they were decreasing in frequency and magnitude.

Until last night.

We were woken from a dead sleep by a 4.5 earthquake, not an aftershock. Which really shook her, literally and physically. We all got out of bed and high tailed it outside. Side note: We live in a log home. Because of the way our home is constructed, everything is tied together. SO, If any part of the house moves...the WHOLE house moves. This tends to over state the magnitude of things sometimes.

Once she was awake she could not be consoled. She was shaking, her heart was pounding and did not want to go back inside. Did I mention we were all outside at 1am, half asleep and in our PJ's/skivvies.


I love painting mental pictures :)

Long story short: Omori's Law wasn't cutting it this time.

But there was a law that did work. God's.

God's Law? Yup. God's law.

"The Message" translates vs. 6 & 7 of the ancient letter to the Philippians as follows:
^6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

That part of that scripture came to my mind while sitting on my front porch (almost naked) trying to console my sweet little girl. While daddy's arms may be big and strong, they just weren't strong enough to make all the fear disappear by wrapping her in them. So I prayed for that peace. That peace that can only come from our creator.

eventually she came back inside and she fell back asleep.

Not only did she sleep, but so did I ;) "stirred" by the Prince of Peace.

Road to Recovery =

 
A little over a year ago I felt the Lord urging me to slow down. I had too many irons in the fire. I was wearing too many hats. And yes, I was also burning the candle at both ends. I needed to specifically "focus on my family". That's the answer I heard when praying about my situation.

I found myself involved in so many other things that I didn't have any time for my family. I was working two jobs (with a 40 minute commute between them), Involved at church (elder and pastor) from 3-5 days a week (plus study time), I had a fellowship at my home one night a week AND was processing somewhere between 20-40 lbs of beef jerky every week to sell at the farmers market (which took up my Saturdays). Every minute of every day was filled to the rim with brim.

Not to mention that I slowly found myself in disagreement with most of the teaching/beliefs/points of view in the church. If I don't agree with what my life is devoted to then there is a real riff in the fabric of why I am doing what I'm doing.

So I took a good hard look at everything I was "doing" and started asking God what He wanted me to be doing. I slowly backed out of most of my commitments, knocked down my hours at work, quit making all my delicious jerky and stepped down from my positions at church. And every time I would ask what I should be doing...the response was always that, I was doing it.

Once I started focusing on my family I realized just how neglected it was. Much like an old house that people live in but don't take care of, my life resembled just that. Had I not listened...well, I hate to think of what could of happened. We were dilapidated and had no idea of the impending eviction. All I can say is that I am thankful for that simple word from the Lord.

So now I'm a year out and I finally feel like I'm recovering from the BURNOUT

No, not that kind of burn out, but I thought it appropriate to add a little humor to my whining.

I finally feel as if I can breath. The answer for me was R&R.

The best part about this whole series of events is that now I can actually "do" what I feel called to do. Without "doing" what everyone else wants me to do.

I want to end this by extending some advice that I should have heeded a long time ago.

Put your family 1st.

The Joke's on me

There's a common joke that's told in evangelical circles. Unfortunately I'm guilty of telling it more times than I care to count. It's always in the context of learning truth vs. knowing truth. Maybe it's less of a joke and more of a jab. It goes like this:

Whenever you refer to someone/something in "seminary" (an institution of higher education for educating students in theology, generally to prepare them for ordination as clergy or for other ministry) you replace said word with "cemetery".  ex. I learned the definition of  "Odium theologicum" in cemetery. The response is always followed by canned laughter.

The real joke is in the fact that everyone involved knows that seminary kills real Christians, instead of teaching them. Hence the replacement of seminary for cemetery.

GET IT!  WOCKA WOCKA!!!

I'm reading a book by Bart D. Ehrman. In this book he describes how he was attending a conservative seminary (Moody Bible Institute) and after graduating he furthered his studies at a more liberal seminary (Wheaton College & Princeton Theological Seminary). He then describes how he and his conservative friends had to start a peer group to "keep their faith".

It immediately reminded me of the old joke I was so guilty of telling.

I had to start asking myself, does knowledge of the truth and a better understanding of the facts of biblical history really cause you to become "dead" by conservative standards? Well, In Bart's case it eventually did. He recently became an agnostic after struggling with the philosophical problems of evil and suffering.

I'm on a quest. A quest that I have appropriately labeled "Hell Bent". In this quest I am looking for the truth. The more I look the better off I am and the more ALIVE I feel. This quest is doing anything but killing my faith.

 

In the end I am confident that I will not find my faith 6 feet under. I am quickly burying my old rotten ideas of how things should be according to popular/evangelical belief. It feels so good to let the old ways fall off my bones. I also believe that (for me) those decrepit ideas should remain in the ground.
 

So, you're prolly asking yourself, is Chris for or against Seminary? I will answer with this quote.

 

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

defining moments

 There are moments in your life that define who you are, who you are trying to become, what your'e trying to achieve or where your heart is. 


I named my blog "HELLBENT" for a reason. That moment was one of those "defining moments" for me. It set me on a path that I quickly fell in love with. I have given the definition of the word below.

hell-bent or hell·bent (hlbnt)adj. Impetuously or recklessly determined to do or achieve something:

I realize that with every word I type I run the risk of offending those who I care about or lose their friendship altogether. But it's a risk I'm willing to take if it set's 1 person free of a bondage or of a mindset that's unhealthy or if they just see something from a different angle. Hence the definition.

I haven't asked many questions lately. I do plan on doing so. I need some time to get my heart right before I do. There's an old Proverb that says, even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

I'm gonna try that on for size for a little while. I'll be back soon with a few more questions but with my heart in the right place before I ask them.

ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME

Some of you may know and some may not. But recently I stepped down from a pastoral position at a local church. Over the last few years I found myself struggling with the Christian system. SIDE NOTE: (I am not referring specifically to my old church or the people there). Not only am I not in agreement with most positions taken by the church but I also find the whole thing to work contrary to what Jesus taught. I just can't be a part of something that I don't agree with. We seem to focus more on the dos and donts of a book rather than the heart of what I believe Jesus came to reveal to us (by "us" I mean everyone). What I seem to struggle with the most is that the very people that Jesus had a heart for and spent His time with would never step foot through the doors of a church. (Mark 2:13-15 and Luke 15:1) And rightly so. They just aren't made welcome. Maybe your church is different. I don't want to compare or measure up who's worship center is better. I'm just tryin to make a point.

I share this with you for a few different reasons.

Many people/acquaintances who have learned of my decision have not only renounced friendships over my beliefs/writings but have written me to say "I'm praying for you" as if they are concerned for my soul and eternal destiny. To me that's a pretty big slap in the face. We don't have to agree on Theology or interpretation in order to be friends. At least I don't feel that way. But this comes off as if they have it all figured out and if I don't agree with the majority of evangelical Christian thinking then my soul is in trouble.
 BTW, I believe I'm saved and I can't lose my salvation as long as I don't deny Christ/Holy Spirit/God. But we will open that can of worms on another blog.

If I'm made to feel this way about my beliefs then how does the rest of the world (the people who would never step foot in a church) feel about how they've been treated by the church?

The other reason for this blog, the real reason I started writing this evening is to point out a simplistic understanding for anyone at anyplace at anytime who wants to commune with the Creator.

This is where I make a short story long :)

Last week my wife and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. I rented a cabin on top of the Shenandoah national park. It was breathtaking. I am always amazed at Gods beauty In and through His creation. We arrived to a super duper foggy Saturday.

It took us over 2 hours to drive what normally takes 30 mins. But we made the best of the evening. When we awoke Sunday morning we stepped outside to enjoy our coffee and our beautiful view. My wife looked around, looked at her watch and looked at me and said "well baby, I don't think we are going to make it to church this morning". To which I replied "we are at church".

Anywhere, at anytime we are in our Creators presence. To stop and enjoy it and recognize His handiwork, to thank Him for something simple or something amazing is to worship and commune with Him.

For all of you who have been hurt by the church and will never go back. For all of you who don't feel welcome in a building on Sunday. For all of you who know there is something not quite right with the current system and can't find it in you to "join" in. It doesn't mean you can't commune with God. It doesn't mean you cant worship the creator and It doesn't mean your soul is in trouble.

Next time you see a beautiful sunrise, smell a flower or catch a glimpse of a masterpiece in a fallen tree. Consider yourself at church :)

Sin City?

I'm back! My trip to "Sin City" was super busy with work and I'm exhausted. I did get some free time while I was there and managed to wonder up and down the strip to do a little shopping for my family. As I walked by all the homeless, by the guys/gals handing out hooker cards, by the many people to drunk to be coherent, by all the people on vacation enjoying the sights, by all the hard working people trying to make a living (you get the idea)...I remembered that (in the past) I have referred to Vegas as "Sodom and Gomorrah". Everyone knows that story from the bible. But as I walked around the city, it occurred to me that Vegas is really no different than any other big city in America. Let me explain.

While Vegas may be different in many ways than most cities, It is also very similar. How? The people. The people are what makes a city. And the people in Vegas are from everywhere. It's a conglomerate of people from all walks of life from all areas of the world. Knowing that, I felt is was unfair for me to label a city of people with such prejudice. To be honest, I was just repeating what I had heard from almost every preacher I've ever listened to. I've decided to leave that decision to God. I found a couple of verses in the bible that you've prolly never heard or had pointed out to you that refer to Sodom and Gomorrah.

First-Let's look at what happened. In Gen. 19 we read: "Early the next morning Abraham...looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah...and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace."
And so for thousands of years that city has served as a warning from every pulpit of what happens when God decides to judge a city. But know let's read about those verses you never hear from the pulpit.

In Ezek.16 the Profit has a series of visions and has a promise from God that He will "restore the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters" and they will "return to what they were before."

Here's another, In Matt. 10 Jesus travels to Galilee, asking people to see things a new way. He encounters great resistance from the devout religous people and  He warns those religous people that "it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah than for them on judgement day". He tells highly commited, pious, pompous, religous people that it will be better for Sodom and Gomorrah than for them. Hmm?

Here's a few more for the heck of it:
In Matt. 19 "renewal of all things", Acts 3 - Peter says that Jesus will "restore everything", Paul says in Col. 1  that through Christ "God was pleased to...reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or things in heaven".
Sounds to me like God's in the restoration business, not the destruction business.

Sooooo, lesson learned. I will no longer repeat hateful prejudices I hear from the mouths of men but will search the heart of God on such matters from here on out.

What say you?

What happens in

I'm off to Vegas for a week of work. I know I know, it's a tough life. All joking aside. I work harder there than I do on most days back home. The old saying of "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" will not apply to me and never has :) A full report of every thought from sin city will follow when I get home. Many blessings to all my followers. May the love that Jesus showed us here on earth overwhelm all of you (whether you agree with my crazy ideas or not).

Today

Nope...this isn't photo shopped.

My stomach hurts. I feel sick. I feel convicted. HOW DARE I...

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.

That's Jesus speaking, recorded by Matthew.

I have been confronted in many different ways by several people since my blog started. Most are encouraging, but the "few" that have spoken/written of their rejection or separation have used the words of the bible to try to convict me of my wrong doing. My thoughts have been consumed with theological debate, translation issues, context, Greek/Aramaic and Hebrew language studies, modern teaching, dividing lines, lifestyles, interpretation, doctrine, definition, so on and so forth. These thoughts have dominated me. Why I am more right than someone else. I've searched my soul for any wrong doing. I pray every day for revelation. Search me Father for an inch of my heart that isn't focused on Yours.

Today I got my answer. LOVE

How dare I.

In my quest to redefine, in my quest to change the filter through which we see things, in my quest to help others understand...my eyes were opened. I have missed the big picture. I have been distracted by the argument. I need to find my "blinders". I need to set aside my offense. Who cares if "a few" ignorant people don't understand? There will always be "a few".

What about LOVE?

All of the B.S. we argue over, all of the denominational splits, all of the theological debates, they miss it all. We are just clanging symbols, making noise with no purpose other than to say we are right.

It's time to lay down our swords, it's time to beat them into shovels and our spears into hoes. Our weapons need to profit the needy. Our arguments need to benefit the helpless.

WOW Chris...You're JUST getting this revelation?

Sorry, I'm a little slow on the draw. This is where I am right now and I said that this blog would be for such a revelation. I hope we can all benefit from this, not because Ive got it figured out but because I think it lines up with what Jesus came to do.

I.M.H.O.

I guess it's time for me to start answering some of my own questions. I will do so over a number of blogs. But before I do, I think I need to state that just because I let my opinion be known, that it doesn't mean that I have it all figured out or that this is absolutely theologically sound or that I am teaching a doctrine. I will not pretend to have all the answers. Anyone who claims to have it all figured out really should get their head examined or at the very least, their heart. The questions within me/on my blog have been debated for centuries. Man will never completely agree on them, hence the fact that we are referred to as "Protestants" (which comes from the word: protest).

I'm going to start with "What IS sin?". This answer may as well indirectly answer a few of my questions/blogs. The best definition of the word I found was: (Sin-Actions by which humans rebel against God, miss his purpose for their life, and surrender to the power of evil rather than to God.)

Maybe before explaining my beliefs I should give an example that Jesus used. Matthew's letter (Ch. 5) records Jesus saying this: "You know the next commandment pretty well, too: 'Don't go to bed with another's spouse.' But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt. "Let's not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here's what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly. Better a bloody stump than your entire being discarded for good in the dump.

In my opinion, Jesus is basically saying that a sin is a sin is a sin, that there is no degree of sin. All sin is equally bad. Adultery vs. lust = the same. Below is another example but from John this time.

The way we know we've been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn't love is as good as dead. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know very well that eternal life and murder don't go together

I know that there are several places in the bible that refer to different levels of punishment for different types of sin and that some Christians typically believe/teach that certain sins are deserving of eternal damnation (homosexuality) vs. lying or adultery which only require church discipline and repentance.
I personally put a lot more clout on anything Jesus says vs. any of His disciples. (He was constantly correcting them about their understanding) When Jesus says something and He appears to be contradicted by something else in the bible. I always agree with Him. I believe that He alone was perfect.

So…What IS sin? I think the bible lists several things that it considers a sin. Some of those things we adhere to today and others we don’t. It also lists several things that are/were acceptable. Some of those things we adhere to today and others we don’t. I personally believe that each of us knows the difference between right and wrong (sin). Somewhere deep within us there is an awareness of sin. I believe that the Holy Spirit is “that” awareness. It speaks to us, nudges us, urges us, sways us, moves us, helps us, teaches us, forms us, shapes us………… so on and so forth. Sin isn’t a list in my opinion, it’s purposefully rejecting what we know is right for our lives. What is a sin to me might not be a sin to someone else and vice versa. I think this statement fits the definition given above.

Thoughts? I am always open for discussion.

A statement instead of a question

Today is a new day. Each day when I wake I thank the Lord for the day He has given me. Today I go in for a fairly simple operation to have a biopsy done on my esophagus, my stomach and my upper intestines. Long story short- I have had stomach problems/pains going on two years now. The ulcer medicine doesn't seem to help and a diet change has only affected me slightly. So they want to take a peek inside.

I laid in bed last night unable to sleep (for many reasons) It gave me the opportunity to think about what they might find.I didn't like where my mind was taking me.

I've been asking a lot of questions lately and I think "some" are kinda fed up with the questions so I will give it a break today and make a statement instead.

God is good.

God was good yesterday, God is good today and He will still be good tomorrow. Regardless of what the Docs may or may not find inside me, I believe the above statement to be true. Not only is it true before I know the results but it will be true after I know the results. No matter what they are (good or bad).

I told my kids this morning that "You can't live your life in fear of what "MIGHT" happen". I think I'm gonna take my own advice.

Question Authority

 This rides on the coat tales of a blog posted by my brother in law: Questions are powerful

I personally learn by asking questions. I have always been a question asker (this is another one of my made up words). More importantly...I am a listener. I have a great ability to hear and learn. When I was young, I would stand close to groups of grown ups at family gatherings or parties and listen with great interest to ALL the differing points of view. I continued this practice through my teenage years and found myself welcome in conversations that other people my age weren't accepted in. I "usually" kept my mouth shut and heard each point of view before expressing my opinion and when I did open my mouth...my thoughts echoed years of listening to many opinions (If any of you know my family, you know that we are all very opinionated).

The result of this practice was again and again told to me. "You are very wise for a person your age"

In my first blog  Took The Leap I laid a foundation for my coming blogs. I said "I want to use this blog in a way to create and shape a better me and a better world through deep, meaningful conversations with questions or concerns and not with definitive stances or harsh judgement." And that sums up my learning experiences through life. All that to say, I ask questions without agenda. Well, maybe I have an agenda...but that is to better myself.

So there is my "motive/agenda" behind these last few controversial blogs.

Why am I bothering to tell you this? Because I feel a certain disdain in the answers to the questions I am asking. I'm not bashing anybody for giving me their opinion. That's what I asked for, but why am I getting answers to a different question than I asked?

The questions I am asking are not easy, hence the fact of me asking them. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.I have been told that these questions aren't bringing fruit, That they aren't helping build up anyone, That they are causing or can lead to spiritual doubt. That's simply not true. I have had countless conversations stating otherwise. It may not be on the blog for the world to see but it's happening AND I can see fruit from it. In me and others :)

I do believe that certain questions can be destructive. But there is a significant difference between questions that bring wisdom and fuller understanding than the kind of questions that simply seek to validate the world and its ways.

What are we Christians so afraid of? If you truly believe that the bible is God's word and that it's infallible and without error and it's perfect and so on and so forth. Then there is nothing to be worried about. If I can be stumped or proven wrong about the bibles perfectness then I'm believing a lie. Do I want my faith founded on lies? No.I say ask away!


I think the real fear is: if you start to doubt one tiny part of scripture, then where do you stop?

And the winner is...

What an awesome experience this has been. I can't begin to tell you how much I've learned and gained from blogging. I've had good and bad conversations, either on the blog, via email and face to face. I've been encouraged and lectured on my differing points of view. I have surprised and stunned people. There have been a few times when I considered not writing anymore because of the conflict in misunderstandings/

interpretation. All of the bad has been far outweighed by the overwhelming encouragement I receive from "almost" everyone. Funny, the people who I've considered close in the past have been the most critical. But that's ok! I fully expected this to ruffle religious feathers.

In my last blog, I asked: what is sin?

Wow! What a great set of understanding there is amongst my "followers" :) I was pleased with the responses. The comments were exactly what I wanted to see. Which means I actually articulated myself in a way that was understood. Something I've not accomplished in writing in my past. Communication via text is difficult.

While I read a lot of great comments, I still find myself wanting a list of sins. I guess that's just my OCD mindset. It would be so much easier. Wouldn't it? But to be placed under the law again is something I can't imagine ever being pleasant. Oh wait, isn't that what religion tries to constantly do? All I know is that I'll never measure up to a set of rules. That was the whole point of the law in the first place.

So I didn't get my list, which is a good thing. Knowing me...I would purposefully break the rules anyways. Rebellion is something I constantly fight with. You might even say that I'm rebelling against my rebellion.

Know to the heart of what I'm trying to convey. I may not have found my list but I did find Something else. Jesus says 3 times in the new testament that there is only ONE sin which can't be forgiven. Denying/blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Matt. 12:32, Luke 12:10 & Mark 3:29).

Is His blood not big enough to cover that sin?

Or is this something altogether different? Is this beyond the situation of forgiveness? Is denying the Holy Spirit the same as denying Christ? No, it isn't (that will have to wait for another blog) See Matt. 12:32 if you don't believe me.

Did Jesus actually say that EVERY sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, except one?

This line of thought makes a very strong case for universalism (which I don't believe in). But how do we interpret this?

Your thoughts and time on this matter are appreciated.

What IS sin?

Judging by the comments, these last few blogs have clearly raised a few eyebrows (and blood pressure). I have tons of questions in my head of a similar genre. Maybe I should state that these questions aren't intended to invoke a typical response. I'm not looking to hear what you've heard from someone else on the matter and I'm not trying to lead you astray. I simply would like to discuss things from a different point of view. Answering without your theology or your text book answers will not make you a heretic. I'm interested in your thoughts and your heart. That being said...

There were a lot of assumptions made through replies in my last blog. The word "Sin" kept surfacing over and over and I started asking myself. "If the 10 commandments are the old law/covenant and they don't apply to us anymore (Jesus and Paul's words-not mine), then WHAT IS SIN"? I started searching the bible, commentaries and dictionary's for definition. I can't say that I got a clear answer. The bible gives no formal definition. Nor does it give us a complete account of the origin of Sin. Below is the best definition I could find:

Sin-Actions by which humans rebel against God, miss his purpose for their life, and surrender to the power of evil rather than to God.

We Christians sure throw around the word a lot for not having a clear understanding of exactly what sin is. So...In your own words What is Sin and How do you get your definition?

In-Terp-Re-Tat-Ion

What if someone asked you, "Is there a chance you could be wrong about the way you've interpreted the biblical texts sometimes used to condemn homosexual orientation?" How would you respond?

Blind Faith

The more I write the more ideas I have for other blogs. This has been very therapeutic for me and I think I’m officially addicted. One idea leads to another and I try to keep these things short and sweet so as not to deter or bore anyone. To be perfectly honest, I was hoping for a lot more interaction/comments. But I guess that will happen when people actually start reading what I’m writing. BTW, I realize that my last few posts have been me stating my beliefs more so than me inviting conversation, which is what I originally wanted it to be. SO…

Maybe I will start by asking the question that’s on my mind and work backwards from there. Why do you believe what you believe?

In my last blog I mentioned “blind eyes”. That phrase was purposeful. I labeled a group of believers that I believe are responsible for propitiating a movement, whether it’s intentional or not. Allow me to define my biased label. I consider this group to have “Blind Faith”. That means I believe that they don’t know why they believe what they believe. And that most of them only believe what they’ve been taught and never question it because it came out the mouth of a Preacher, Parent or Mentor.

Their beliefs form an attitude. This attitude brings forth undesirable actions in my opinion. Here’s where I insert my example. Ever seen a guy with HUGE muscles? What’s your first thought? If you’re anything like me, you ASSume it’s because he’s trying to compensate for something. Right? Or maybe I could put it a little nicer, if someone is insecure in their beliefs or status. They tend to be on the offensive. Instead of waiting to hear what you think about an issue, they will “bullhorn” the issue. Plowing you over with so much of what they say is “right” or “true” that you know there is no use in entering a conversation. WAIT!…I’m pretty sure I just defined myself (so shut up and keep reading). *Please note the sarcasm in that last statement*

OK, now that you get my point, back to my original question: Why do YOU believe what you believe? Or, do you know why you believe what you believe?

The reason I ask is not to point out the lack of knowledge by the parties in question, but to get them to ask themselves, WHY. (It’s more of a mercy killing than anything). If you can’t answer this question for yourself, then you’ve put yourself in a bad spot for when the earthquake/tsunami hits your life.

Plus, I’m actually interested to hear “why”. There have been some super cool miracles/testimonies that have lead to belief. There is a comment box below that is screaming for your story.

New Trinity

One of the hardest concepts that christians are expected to understand is the trinity. It goes like this: God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are 3 seperate intities but all are 1 simultaneously. I read a book called "the shack". The author did a fantastic job explaining the trinity and I highly reccomend it to everyone (christian or not). He paints a beautiful word picture on the trinity and sheads an even "beautifuler" (I make up words, you'll have to get used to that) light on the heart of God towards his creation.

There was a man named John who was a disciple of Jesus. He wrote a letter/gospel and started it by explaining or at least trying to explain the trinity. It starts like so: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made".


I've never met anyone that disagrees that john is referring to Jesus when he uses the word "word"(the Greek word is logos. The definition is: a computation; specifically (with the article in John) the Divine Expression (that is, Christ). If you have a different interpritation or disagree totally please step forward. I would love to hear your thoughts.  Most people skip past vs 4-13 and go right to this part for their proof that Jesus is the Son of God. "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth".

To wrap this whole trinity thing up, here's a synopsis of  what we are expected to understand. We have God who created all things. We have Jesus, His Son who was/is God in human form and walked this earth but was crucified and died but rose from the grave and there's this Third illusive part of the trinity called the Holy Spirit that could only show up permanently after Jesus died (see Acts Chapter 2).

As hard as it is to understand or wrap my head around, I believe this to be true. Do I have physical proof to back up my beliefs? No more than an atheist has to disprove it. I have experiences in my life that I would love to share with anyone who wants to hear them that I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt prove my beliefs. (This next part is where the religous hackles go up) I was taught that the "holy bible" is our physical proof. But a book isn't physical proof to me. Now don't get me wrong, I love reading the bible. I gain a lot from it but one of my biggest problems with modern day christian teaching is that you are told not to base beliefs on experience but to base it on "the word"(the bible, not the logos). The emphasis has been shifted because its too "dangerous" otherwise. You might get mislead or think for yourself if you dare stray away from the only book you should ever read. Too much emphasis is put on the bible and not enough on the actual relationship you should have with (the real trinity).

I was taught an illustration for as why to think this way. The story goes like this. When the federal government trains treasury workers to find fraudulent/fake currency. They lock them in a room with the real thing. They study it. They feel it. They eat,breathe, sleep it. That way they will recognize a fake when they see it because its nothing like they've ever seen before.


So it's taught that you only read the bible so when you hear anything else you will know it's "a fake".
Christians are isolating themselves from the world by doing this. Below is a clip with an example of what I'm trying to say.

Agnostics vs. Believers game show clip
As you can see, the christians are out of touch with reality and are completely isolated. When I saw this I was utterly embarrassed to be lumped into the "christian" group.


OK, I'm tryin to wrap this up...
 In a nutshell, by only reading one book we have replaced a member of the trinity. This is what I like to call "The New Trinity". Which consists of: God, Jesus and the holy bible.


I'm on a personal quest to open the "blind eyes" to see that the new trinity isn't a good change. In this instance, Change isn't good. Bring back the original trinity :)
(steps off of soap box)

Round 1. Ribs vs. Back

I wish I knew the statistics on how many Christians actually doubt the things they say they believe. If I had to wager a good guess (yes, I am a gambling man) on what percentage of Christians actually doubt something that they say they believe or have been taught to believe, I would have to say that the number would be pretty high. Maybe as high as 80%

Recently, I was at a gathering with friends and had an in-depth faith based conversation about “back bone” issues.

Side note: there are two kinds of issues in the Christian world concerning belief. Rib Issues & Back Bone Issues.

A back bone issue is aptly named and WAY more important than a rib issue. If I had to define a back bone issue it would look something like this. “A salvation breaking issue or something of that importance that all Christians have to agree on regardless of denomination before they can proceed in conversation with you”. Ex. how to obtain salvation, is the bible God’s whole & absolute word, is Jesus really God’s Son. You get the idea.

A Rib issue isn’t as important. A good example of a rib issue is whether or not you should be baptized. You can walk around with a broken rib but not so much a broken back.

Now back to the gathering…I was brutally/fearfully honest with everyone and went out on a limb revealing a few of my doubts about the bible and Christianity in general. Surprisingly to me, I was met with about a 50% approval rating. I was floored! I didn’t expect anyone to admit in front of other Christians that they shared similar doubts on “back bone” issues. Was I being a bad influence, was I starting a heretical movement, or was I onto something? A very unique thing happened, a door opened for honesty.

All of a sudden, the back bone issues became rib issues. There was an indescribable physical change in the atmosphere. The hackles went down, flags were lowered and the majority of the group was able to have a meaningful conversation without trying to prove with scripture why they were more right than others. We laid down the things that we had been taught to us and had a conversation about what we knew to be true based on experience. The best part is that there were no arguments.

It was AWESOME! It changed my downcast attitude that I was fighting an uphill battle. Things can change for the better without war, be it physical or emotional. The great thing is that my hope for the future was restored.

Since then I’ve had a few others from that same conversation come to me and express their “back bone” doubts. The most amazing revelation I’ve had from all of this is that whether or not we are willing or allowed to admit it…we doubt, and it doesn’t diminish our faith or our Lord.

I will do a blog at a later date on my actual doubts. I think you will find that you most likely share the same if not similar doubts.

One last thought: I LOVE RIBS!

NEW VOCABULARY

My wife and I have been working on communication. We came across a transactional analysis (TA) diagram that psychologists use to teach communication. According to TA the gist of communication works like so:

Parents say/use words like: ought or should
Adults say/use words like: will, can, choose, plan, think & decide
Children say/use words like: want, try, can't & feel

you can get a better idea of how it works here: TransactionalAnalysis.gif




So, in order to have an adult to adult conversation you use adult words. If you use said words, both parties communicate properly.
If you use parental words, the other person will typically respond as a child.
ex.- (parent) you should clean your room. (child) I don't feel like it. OR (parent) you ought to read more books instead of playing video games. (child) I don't want to.

This word chart smacked me upside the head! I had been unknowingly been speaking to my wife as if I was her parent, and her responses reflected it.
As I was contemplating this dilemma... Eureka! A light bulb lit above my head.

Religion speaks to us as a parent speaks to a child. "You should go to church every sunday" "you ought to read your bible every day" "you should keep the ten commandments" and we respond with: "I try so hard to do what's right but I can't" or "I don't feel like reading today" or "I feel like I can't beat this sin"

We get so focused on the "dos and dont's" that we forget all about the relationship. Religion keeps you dependent on itself so you can't think on your own. God wants a relationship not a regiment (see Gen.1-3).

The bible "Gods word"(which religion makes more important than the holy spirit,stay tuned for my blog on the new trinity-God, Jesus and the holy bible) is explicit and has many examples/illustartions on transitioning from milk (babys food) to Meat (adult food)
1 cor 3:2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 
Heb 5:12-13 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!  Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness




Basically, We are supposed to transition from being taught by religion to having a personal relationship.

Why is it that God desires something completely different from us than what religion is teaching?

Are you sick of being treated like a baby by religion. Tired of being dependent on rules in order to be in right standing with God? I think the rest of the world would have a different outlook on Christians if religion would quit being our parent.

Looks like its time for religion to adopt a new vocabulary.

Took the leap

Okay, I finally did it. I took the leap. More and more lately I have wanted to write my thoughts. My hope is to convey my current thoughts, feelings, revelations, etc...


I am always interested in another perspective. I want to use this blog in a way to create and shape a better me and a better world through deep, meaningful conversations with questions or concerns and not with definitive stances or harsh judgement. I think communication is the key. Religious discussion will most likely dominate this space, but not to prove who's right or who's wrong. It's just what I'm interested in. 


Recently I threw out all that I had been taught and wanted to start over fresh with a new perspective. A perspective coming from the heart of our Creator, not from the heart of a book that's been misused and abused by men for centuries. I think some people call this heresy (a controversial or novel change to a system of beliefs, especially a religion, that conflicts with established dogma) I heard a pastor recently say that heresy meant: able to choose. I like that :)

So my first post has definitely been a train wreck of thoughts, I promise to be a little more direct in my future posts.